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I read an article today, just out of sheer random curiosity, and it made me stop a second.  I realized how true it is that our society, at least the Western society I know, so quickly skips over topics deemed uncomfortable or inappropriate for public discourse.

Who exactly decided that a woman’s reproductive cycle was not a topic for discussion or at least acknowledgement?  Isn’t it amazing that we focus so much of our time on violence, hatred, and death and choose to overlook human’s most natural and powerful creative process?

I’m guilty of it too.  I use modern medications to my advantage so I don’t have to “deal” with it every month.  It’s an annoyance, a disturbance to an otherwise smooth life.  But now I’m starting to wonder should I be so eager to ignore my body? What consequences will or have I already faced by suppressing my natural cycle?

The answer is in the question. 

The author basically maps out for us a general guideline by which we can understand our feminine selves more intimately.  Nothing is absolute and how we each experience a 30-40 day cycle will not be the same but if we listen better, really listen, we can know ourselves and then perhaps know others.

johann_heinrich_fussli_053

The last few days have been rough for me. My mind won’t shut down. I cannot find silence, stillness.  My head wanders frantically even in sleep.  I twitch and jerk in dreams that provide no consolation but add to stress, tension, worry.  This happens almost every month for me.  And occasionally the dreams are so vivid, I skip over restorative sleep. I remember once it went on for 10 days – I was afraid of sleeping.  I believe there have been studies done on women having night terrors that coincide with their cycle. 

In going against nature, I believe I’ve masked myself and suppressed more than just a biological cycle.  I feel pent up.  I feel as though there is something locked up that needs to be released.

Interestingly, the author argues that that first week of the cycle is a time of letting go, of releasing.  Not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well.  We can all empathize with that since I’m sure most of us women get overly emotional at one point or another. I think she’s right that it would be much more beneficial for us if we accept these times, embrace them for what they are, instead of resisting. Wouldn’t we all benefit from letting go (physically, mentally, emotionally) of that which does not serve? 

I think I’m discovering that if I manipulate my body in ways that disturbs nature, I’m no longer in tune with it. And aligning with nature is an essential practice to fluidity and essential peace.  If I allow nature to run its course, I will allow myself to become a listener.

I see now that my rampant emotions of late, my cloudy mind, my night terrors, are all signals that I have something that needs to be set free.  I’ve restrained myself for too long.  I’ve been in denial.  I’ve ignored my body and mind. Subconscious, they scream, muffled. Finally, I hear them. I listen. 

With pain and suffering comes great renewal and rebirth. 

I need to let go. Now is my time of release.

[Image: “The Nightmare” Johann Heinrich Fussli (Henry Fuseli) 1790-1791]

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